Cognitive Neuropsychological Examination

My brain is mush.

I’d like to write a nice article about this morning’s three-hour examination. From an outside perspective, it was actually quite interesting. But it hurt my brain. And thinking about it now is hurting my brain more. So I’m going to stop thinking about it. I’ll just say this: If you ever have the chance to experience a cognitive neurological examination, take it, but I hope you never hit your head hard enough to need one.

The Introvert and his Hat

I don’t share a lot of personal details online. Lots of personal struggles and emotions, but not details. I’ll tell you the nearest international airport or my favorite regional green grocer, but not my particular neighborhood. And I rarely share pictures. When I do, it’s usually cartooned up. It’s not that I don’t trust you or that I’m worried someone stranger than myself is going to show up on my porch. I’m just shy. And an introvert. Home is the place I go to find my sanity after spending all day with people and I protect that.

But a friend has been talking about hats and introversion recently. He was worried a particular style of hat was too “old man” until Faithful Reader set him straight in the commbox. So he bought a few. So, in one small act of solidarity and kinship, I’m sharing a couple photos of me in my favorite winter cap.

Bold Surrender

I subscribe to a newsletter by Fr. Richard Rohr at the Center for Action and Contemplation. The following is from the November 20th meditation:

The greatest gift of centered and surrendered people is that they know themselves as part of a larger history, a larger self.  Their life is not about them!  They are just one lovely instance of a Much Larger and More Wonderful Life.

In that sense, holy people are in one sense profoundly conservative, knowing that they only stand on the shoulders of their ancestors and will be shoulders for the generations to come.  They are only a part of the Eternal Mystery of God unfolding in time, and yet they are a part!

So these same people are often quite open and reformist because they have no private agendas or self-interest to protect.  They are unattached to any superior self-image or inferior self-image. Both are a waste of time.  It is all about God, and they are just participating.

When you melt all the crayons in a pot, all you get is an ucky brownish-grey goo. But, when the individual colors surrender precedence to one another, recognizing their uniqueness, yet giving up their need to dictate or dominate, you get beautiful artwork. Surrendered people recognize creation is a work of art and that we are among the colors.

Surrender, however, does not mean a timid submission. Surrender does not mean being subsumed. When we surrender to the Artist, we do so boldly. Blues, reds, greens, yellows, mauves, and periwinkles, boldly working together such that none stand out and none are pushed to the back.

When we no longer need to hide in our shame, when we no longer need to prove our value through power and domination, we are left with boldly being who we were created to be.

Moving Day

I had to swing by the school earlier today. It was a 60-mile round trip and a wreck on the highway made it a long drive home. I didn’t go to a church meeting last night because it was a 32-mile round trip and I was tired of driving.

By this time tomorrow, the trip to school and back will only be 30-miles and the church will be bicycle distance.

The only catch is that I have to move. I hate moving. Maybe it’s because I dislike change. Ya think? Actually, it’s not the change – though I’ll confess some minor anxiety there – but the packing, moving, and unpacking. If I could somehow complete the move without having to do any of that, I might be looking forward to it.

Rebirth

An old friend has returned. Check it out. Especially this post. Trust me – you’ll be glad you did. ‘Nuff said.

Single White Male Seeking…

I need a hobby. Something that will get me some fresh air and exercise. Something that fosters community – adults only preferably. Can’t require too much expensive equipment. Last hurdle: I’ve got mild head trauma and a bad knee, so technical rock climbing and anything that requires a helmet is probably out.

So, my experienced and imaginative friends? Take the ingredients I’ve given you, add a few of your own, and stir. What do you have for me? A prize for anyone who suggests an activity/hobby I manage to take up.

Game on!

Food Cravings

Some migraines tell me to avoid any food or water. Other migraines want to be fed – and they want to be fed very particularly. Tonight, it was oat bran bavarian pretzels with hot dijon mustard and kosher dill pickles.

I have a date!

I’m going to watch some football on Saturday with my Grandma.

As you can tell by my less-than-copious posting, I’ve been busy. I’m loving it, but school, church, and my limited social life are stretching me thin. Never too thin to watch football with Grandma, though!

Actually, while the next 2 weeks will be academically rigorous, my capacities are growing fast. I’m answering some of the vocational questions. I’m taking some exciting next steps that I’ll be sharing in the next week or two.

But first, I have a date.

Monastic Vocation

I’m somewhat surprised no one asked me about it. After last week’s post, I expected at least one comment, email, or hallway poke suggesting I consider a monastic vocation. Maybe no one read the post. Maybe you’re all being polite. Maybe you’ve suggested it enough times and didn’t think I needed to hear it again.

The question I continue to ask myself, especially as I post a tug toward a vocation of prayer, writing, and spiritual direction, is why I’m not giving more consideration to monastic orders. The answer is simple: It’s scary.

Monastic vocation is something I have been considering for over four years. In many ways, it appears a good fit. I would love to leave behind certain of the world’s concerns in order to focus fully on a vocation associated with many of the monastic traditions. But do I want to leave behind all of the world’s concerns? I am willing to give up my apartment. I am willing to give up picking my own menu. I am willing to give up geographic freedom. But am I willing to give up meeting friends in coffee joints? Choosing my own writing assignments? My MacBook Pro? College football on Saturdays? Spending Christmas with my parents?

What is the Good News?

Isaiah 61:1-3 (NRSV)

The spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,
  because the LORD has anointed me;
he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed,
  to bind up the brokenhearted,
  to proclaim liberty to the captives,
  and release to the prisoners;
to proclaim the year of the LORD’S favor,
  and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;
to provide for those who mourn in Zion—
  to give them a garland instead of ashes,
  the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
  the mantle of praise instead of a faint spirit.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
  the planting of the LORD, to display his glory.